The Happiest Punishment

Alex Rodriguez doesn’t look 38.

He still features that boyish smile, perfectly groomed hair and more than physically fit superficial body.

Trust me, it’s not easy to keep your stomach flat. Human growth hormone helps. So does testosterone.

Just ask Alex. Please, ask him. That’s what he desires.

More than money, more than home runs, more than anything: Alex Rodriguez wants attention. He got it on Monday when Major League Baseball – in a separate release than the other 12 suspended ballplayers – hit A-Rod with the biggest drug suspension in the history of the game.

Rodriguez addressed the assembled media in Chicago on Monday night. He even thanked some of them. He said it was the toughest time in his entire life and that there’s a process that must take place. It sounded like a really bad interview from the guy you know committed the crime at the end of a “Dateline” episode.

But A-Rod didn’t stop there. After all, he’s not a singles hitter. Rodriguez plays his career the same way he portrays his image. It’s all or nothing, baby. Casual baseball fans know A-Rod hits homers. Rodriguez unleashed a tape measure shot in the same press conference when he said he “was fighting for his life.”

That’s what upset me. Not using the drugs, not admitting to using drugs, not using drugs again, not lying about using drugs again and not even appealing the suspension we all knew was coming on Monday afternoon.

Members of our Armed Forces fight for their lives daily. People battling terminal conditions fight for their lives daily. Baseball players fight over who gets to the post-game meal first.

Alex Rodriguez doesn’t look like he’s 38. He also doesn’t act like it. His story will end the same way that Barry Bonds ended his days in baseball. When A-Rod returns to play in 2015, the stink surrounding him will smell so badly that no one will touch him. He will leave the game of baseball and never make the Hall of Fame.  Just like Bonds.

Comments? Tweet me @WBALDash

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