I feel like a father who forgot their son’s first tee-ball game. See, the thing was I couldn’t make it to the game in time because…I had a flat tire. Yeah, that’s it.
I’m sorry, everybody. My predictions for week two were less than pleasing to most of the five senses. Especially the sense that you may have lost a lot of money reading what some knucklehead thinks about fantasy football.
Let’s take a look back. In the words of Herm Edwards, “WHY NOT?”
I said to start Chad Ochocinco. Chad burns the Ravens every time. He has an epic stat line against this team. Just not this year. Ocho caught four passes for 44 yards. That won’t win you a gold-plated trophy.
I suggested to sit both Mannings. I’ll give myself partial credit for this one. Eli was flat our horrible, throwing for 161 yards and two touchdowns. The last score was an absolute garbage time score, but they all count. Peyton was a little better. And by a little, I mean he was a lot better. He only threw for 255 yards because the game was out of hand before Bob Costas pretended to like football at halftime. All in all, Matt Schaub should be your starter. At least my brother thinks so.
My next piece of wisdom: start Drew Brees. This didn’t go according to plan. Brees finished with two touchdowns and a quality quarterback rating. Who cares? It’s fantasy football and we need yards, people. Brees finished with only 254 yards and left a score on the board late in the 4th quarter.
I then said that you should sit Arian Foster. I was right. So there. That’s one (and a half) out of four. That’s Hall Of Fame quality – in a different sport. Foster ran for 69 yards and ended up with 69 receiving yards. A hilarious milestone if you like symmetry. It’s not so funny when he’s on your team.
I’ll take a look at week three on Friday afternoon. Let’s see if we can do better this time.