Driving Sideways


“At least you know
you were taken by a pro
I know just how you feel
She talked a perfect game
deflecting all the blame
you took the jack
and changed the flat
and got behind the wheel–
now you’re
Driving sideways
taken in by the scenery
as you’re propelled along
And your companion
will not help you to navigate
for fear she may be wrong” – “Driving Sideways” by Aimee Mann


Tiger Woods has had quite a driving problem in the past few years.


He’s 152nd on the PGA Tour in driving accuracy this year, but still manages to have a fairly good driving distance of over 300 yards per drive.


His latest drive, outside of his exclusive Florida mansion, ended with the worst possible turkey hangover ever. As everyone knows, Tiger landed in the middle of the road with cuts on his face.


But what’s the rest of the story? Did Tiger’s wife, Elin, smash a car window in a fit of rage? Why was Woods in his SUV at 2:00 in the morning? Does this make Woods less marketable?


As of Monday evening, we don’t know what happened on Friday night. And while all signs point to a domestic dispute gone horribly wrong, Tiger’s a celebrity and everyone wants to know what happened.


On Monday afternoon, Woods canceled his appearance at the Chevron World Challenge in California – a tournament he hosts – claiming that injuries suffered would affect his play. Woods previously appeared at the AT&T National tournament in a “host only” role when he was recovering from a knee injury. It’s a smart move for Woods. He doesn’t want to answer questions and obviously needs to craft a plan to keep his image in a positive light.


The goal remains very simple for Woods: find the fairway.




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