Don’t Be Chicken

I’ve never had fried chicken in my entire life and odds are that you have never seen a Formula One race.


What do these things have in common? Nothing, really. Everyone loves a Larry King column, right?


The F1 race in Monaco is the most picturesque scene in sports. Any sport. Yes, even Augusta.


As they race through the streets of Monte Carlo, the worlds best drivers snake around the toughest conditions in the most expensive car possible. Doesn’t this make you want to wake up at 8:00 on Sunday morning to watch the race in HD?


The current Formula One series cannot be rationally explained by anyone. A new racing team, Brawn, has dominated the early part of the schedule with a combination of superior cars and lucky drivers. They lead the constructor’s points chase by 30 points. That’s like Tiger Woods winning a U.S. Open by 15 strokes.


Jenson Button, a lifelong joke in the sport, has joined the Brawn team and driven away to a 14 point lead on his teammate in the driver’s points challenge. He has won four of the first five races and will easily coast away with the trophy at the end of the season. If anyone is a Formula One fan, please leave a comment and explain to me how Button became a better driver after a number of years straggling around 8th place in the standings. (Oh, and you can’t use the “it’s the car” expression. Yeah, I get that.)


Rubens Barrichello, a driver older and rustier than the Model T, sits in second place in the points chase. The dark sheep of the Ferrari team for about a decade, Barrichello must love resurrecting his career with Team Brawn. For those unfamiliar with the sport, Barrichello resembles the uncle that nobody talks about. He’s a clown with a fast car.


On the other side of the grid sits Lewis Hamilton. The 2008 champion hasn’t finished on the podium this season and hopes that a ride through the streets of Monte Carlo will finally break his winless streak in 2009. You would think with the backing of McLaren-Mercedes that Hamilton would land on at least one podium in five races. Not so.


So, I implore you. Have breakfast in bed while watching cars and drivers that you know nothing about. You’ll thank me later.


One Response

  1. Larry King sez:

    “Sean Penn… one… class… act.”

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